Category Archives: Inspiration

Dealing with Failure

When the hits come, they really come hard.

I’m dealing with some significant personal/professional failures this month.

I put in for two federal operating grants this past year: one from NSERC to fund my basic cognitive science work on learning and memory and one from SSHRC to fund some relatively new research on mindfulness meditation. I worked pretty hard on these last fall.

And today I found out that neither were funded.

IMG_20180728_204415-EFFECTS

Port Stanley Beach, ON 2018

This means that for the first time in a long number of years, my lab does not have an active federal research grant. The renewal application from NSERC is particularly hard to swallow, since I’ve held multiple NSERC grants and they have a pretty high funding rate relative to other programs. I feel like the rug was pulled out from under me and worry about how to support the graduate students in my lab. I can still carry on doing good research this coming year, and I have some residual funds, but I won’t lie: this is very disappointing.

The cruelest month, the cruelest profession.

It’s often said that academic/scientific work loads heavily on dealing with failure. It’s true. I’ve had failed grants before. Rejected manuscripts. Experiments that I thought were interesting or good that fell apart with additional scrutiny. For every success, there are multiple failures. And that’s all just part of being a successful academic. Beyond that, many academics may work 6-8 years to get a PhD, do a post doc, and find themselves being rejected from one job after another. Other academics struggle with being on the tenure track and may fail to achieve that milestone.

And April really truly is the cruelest month in academics.  Students may have to deal with: rejection from grad school, med school, graduate scholarships, job applications, internships, residency programs. They worry about their final exams. Faculty worry about rejection from grants, looking for jobs, and a whole host of other things. (and at least here in Canada, we still have snow in the forecast…)

Why am I writing this?

Well, why not? I’m not going to hide these failures in shame. Or try to blame someone else. I have to look these failures in the eye, own them, take responsibility for them, and keep working. Part of that means taking the time to work through my emotions and feelings about this. That’s why I’m writing this.

I’m also writing, I guess, to say that it’s worth keeping in mind that we all deal with some kind of stress or anxiety or rejection. Even people who seem to have it together (like me, I probably seem like I have it together: recently promoted to Full Professor, respectable research output, I’ve won several teaching awards, written a textbook, and have been a kind and decent teacher and mentor to 100s of students)…we all get hits. But really, I’m doing fine. I’m still lucky. I’m still privileged. I know that others will be hurting more than I am. I have no intention to wallow in pity or fight with rage. I’m not going to stop working. Not going to stop writing, doing research or trying to improve as a teacher. Moving forward is the only way I can move.

Moving on

We all fail. The question is: What are you going to do about it?

From a personal standpoint, I’m not going to let this get me down. I’ve been in this boat before. I have several projects that are now beginning to bear fruit. I’ve had a terrific insights about some new collaborative work. I have a supportive department and I’m senior enough to weather quite a lot. (thought I’m not Job, so you don’t have to test me Lord!)

From a professional standpoint, though, I think I know what the problems were and I don’t even need to see the grant reviews or committee comments (though I will be looking at them soon). There’s only one of me and branching off into a new direction three years ago to pursue some new ideas took time away from my core program, and I think both suffered a bit as a result. That happens, and I can learn from that experience.

I’ll have to meet with my research team and students next week and give them the bad news. We’re going to need to probably have some difficult conversations about working through this, and I know this will hit some of them hard too.

It might also mean some scholarly pruning. It might mean turning off a few ideas to focus more on the basic cognitive science that’s most important to me.

Congratulations to everyone who got good news this month. Successful grants, acceptance into med school, hired, or published. Success was earned. And for those of us getting bad news: accept it, deal with it, and progress.

Now enjoy the weekend everyone.

 

Does This Project Bring Me Joy?

 

I have too many research projects going on.

It’s great to be busy, but I’m often overwhelmed in this area. As a university professor, some of my job is well defined (e.g. teaching) but other parts not so much. My workload is divided into 40% research, 40% teaching, and 20% service. Within each of these, I have some say as to what I can take on. I can teach different classes and volunteer to serve on various committees. But the research component is mine. This is what I really do. I set the agenda. I apply for funding. This is supposed to be my passion.

So why do I feel overwhelmed in that area?

I think I have too many projects going on. And I don’t mean that I am writing too many papers. I’m most certainly not doing that. I mean I have too many different kinds of projects. There are several projects on psychology and aging, projects on the brain electrophysiology and category learning, a project on meditation and wellbeing in lawyers, a project on patient compliance, a project on distraction from smartphones, plus 4-5 other ideas in development, and at least 10 projects that are most charitably described as “half baked ideas that I had on the way home from a hockey game”.

Add to this many projects with students that may not quite be in my wheelhouse, but are close and that I’m supervising. And I’ll admit, I have difficulty keeping these things straight. I’m interested in things. But when I look at the list of things, I confess I have a tough time seeing a theme sometimes. And that’s a problem as it means I’m not really fully immersed in any one project. I cease to be an independent and curious scientist and become a mediocre project manager. And when I look at my work objectively, more often than not, it seems mediocre.

Put another way, sometimes I’m always really sure what I do anymore…

So what should I do about this, other than complain on my blog? I have to tidy up my research.

A Research Purge

There is a very popular book called “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up“. I have not read this book, but I have read about this book (and let’s be honest that’s sometimes the best we can do). The essence of the approach is that you should not be hanging on to things that are not bringing you joy.

Nostalgia is not joy.

Lots of stuff getting in the way is not joy. And so you go though things, one category at a time, and look at each thing and say “does this item spark joy“? If the answer is no, you discard it. I like this idea.

If this works for a home or a room…physical space…then it should work for the mental space of my research projects. So I’m going to try this. I thought about this last year, but never quite implemented it. I should go through each project and each sub project and ask “Does this project bring me joy?” or “Is there joy in trying to discover this?” Honestly, if the answer is “no” or “maybe” why should I work on it? This may mean that I give up on some things and that some possible papers will not get published. That’s OK, because I will not be compelled to carry out research and writing if it is not bringing me joy. Why should I? I suspect I would be more effective as a scientist because I will (hopefully) focus my efforts on several core areas.

This means, of course, that I have to decide what I do like. And it does not have to be what I’m doing. It does not have to be what I’ve done.

The Psychology of the Reset

Why do we like this? Why do people want to cleanse? To reset. To get back to basics? It seems to be the top theme in so many pop-psych and self help books. Getting rid of things. A detox or a “digital” detox. Starting over. Getting back to something. I really wonder about this. And although I wonder why we behave this way, I’m not sure that I would not find joy in carrying out a research study on this…I must resist the urge to start another project.

I’m going to pare down. I still need to teach, and supervise, and serve on editorial boards, etc: that’s work. I’m not complaining and I like the work. But I want to spend my research and writing time working on projects that will spark joy. Investigating and discovering things that I’m genuinely curious about…curious enough to put in the hours and time to do the research well.

I’d be curious too, to know if others have tried this. Has it worked? Have you become a better scholar and scientists by decluttering your research space?

Thanks for reading and comments are welcome.

Inspiration in the Lab

I run a mid sized cognitive psychology lab: it’s me as the PI, 2 PhD students 3 master’s students and a handful of undergraduate honours students and RAs. We are a reasonably productive lab, but there are times when I think we could be doing more in terms of getting our work out and also coming up with innovative and creative ideas.

Lately I’ve been thinking of ways to break out of our routines. Research, in my opinion, should be a combination of repetition (writing, collecting data, running an analysis in R) but also innovation where we look at new techniques, new ideas, new explanations. How to balance these?  Also, I want to increase collaborative problem solving in my lab. Often a student has a data set and the most common process is the student and I working together, or me reviewing what she or he has done. But sometimes it would be great if we’re all aware of the challenges and promises of each other’s work. We have weekly lab meetings, but that’s not always enough.

What follows are some ideas I’d like to implement in the near future. I’d love to hear what works (and does not work) from other scientists.

An Afternoon of Code

We rely on software (PsychoPy, Python, R, and E-Prime) to collect behavioural data. We have several decent programs to run the experiments we want to run, but that is often a bottleneck, and all of us sometime struggle to translate ideas into code. One way to work on this might be to have a coding retreat or an afternoon of coding. We all agree to meet in my lab and we work on shared task or designing a paradigm that we’ve never used before. I’d put up a prize for the first student to solve the problem. As an example, I’m looking to get a version of the classic “weather prediction task“. We might agree to spend a day working on this, maybe each on our own program, but at the same time so we can share ideas.

Data Visualization and Analysis

Similar to the idea above, I am thinking of ways to improve our skills on R-Studio. One idea might be to have a set of data from the most recent study in our lab and we spend a day working together on R-Studio to explore different visualizations, techniques for parsing, etc. We each know different things and R allows for so much customization, but it would be helpful to be aware of each other’s skill set.

Writing at the Pub

Despite some of its limitations, I’ve been using Google Docs as a way to prepare manuscripts for publication. It’s not much worse than Word but really allows for better collaborative work and integrates smoothly with #Slack. With the addition of Paperpile, it’s a very competent document preparation system. So I thought about setting aside a few hours in the campus pub, bring our laptops, and all write together. Lab members that are working together on a paper can write simultaneously. Or we might pick one paper, and even grad students who are not authors per se would still be able to help with edits and idea. Maybe start with coffee/tea…then a beer or two.

Internal Replications

I’ve also thought about spending some time designing and implementing replications of earlier work. We already do this to some degree, but I have many published studies from 10 or more years ago that might be worth revisiting. I thought of meeting once every few month with my team to look at these and pick one to replicate. Then we work as a team to try to replicate the study as if it were someone else’s work (not ours) and run a full study. This would be done along side the new/current work in our lab.

Chefs learn by repeating the basic techniques over and over again until they master them and can produce a simple dish perfectly each time. I can think of no reason not to employ the same technique in my lab. I think the repetitive, inward focused nature of a task like this might also lead to new insights as we rediscover what led up to design a task or experiment in a certain way.

Conclusion

I am planning on taking these ideas to my trainees at a one of our weekly lab in the next few weeks. My goal is to just try a few new things to break up the routine. I’d welcome any comments, ideas, or suggestions.